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December 14, 2005
I Hate Owning A Car
Yesterday, my car started acting up so I took it into the dealership this morning. Why the dealership? Because every other service experience I have had in the state of Maryland has either resulted in a more broken vehicle or a vehicle with less parts. So, now I only trust the dealership. Of course, the drawback is that you get ass-raped every time you step foot on the premises.
The Head Technician calls me into his interrogation room to discuss what needs to be repaired on my car. This is how it went from my point of view:
HT: Okay Mr. EBill if you could just drop your pants, bend over, and grab the arms of that chair for me, please.
EBILL: Uh, do we have to do this?
HT: It's company policy.
EBILL: [SIGHS] Just make it quick, okay?
HT: Okay, let me just get a hand up there. 'Eeeeeeere we go. Aaaaand ... the other one.
[HT DIGS AROUND FOR A BIT IN EBILL'S BUM AND EXTRACTS AN ESTIMATE]
HT: Okay, Mr. EBill, that'll be $1,200.00. You can pay the cashier in the lounge.
EBILL: You could have used some lube, ya know?
HT: Our insurance doesn't cover that. Slip hazard.
EBILL: Can you at least give me something to stop the bleeding?
HT: Sure thing Mr. EBill. Here ya go [TOSSES A ONE INCH SQUARE INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED GAUZE PACKAGE ACROSS THE DESK] and that brings your total to $1,325.00. Take care now, and Happy Holidays.
In reality, I was able to get it down to around $600 by refusing various ancillary repairs. The bitch of it is that it was all shit I could do myself if I had a warm place to work. What further pisses me off is the disgusting state of public transportation in this and most U.S. cities. There is virtually no alternative to owning a fucking car!
Fuck you, politicians!
Fuck you, lobbyists!
Fuck you, insurance companies!
Fuck you, whomever else needs it!
FUCK! ...
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!
Rants Posted By eBill at 12:15 PM
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Comments
If it wasn't 10 degrees outside (and your anus wasn't bleeding) I'd expound on the joys of riding a bike, but I'd also have to add to your screed....Fuck the city for not having any bike lanes or a place to lock a bicycle!!!!!
Posted by: eric at December 14, 2005 02:22 PM
Yet another reason th hate MD. When I was in Indiana, I always had access to a garage and every tool known to man. Here in Baltimore, my lease prevents me from doing even minor maintenance. $125 (real cost=$40/30 min) front brake jobs and $200 (real cost=$35/10 min) oxygen sensors replacements just burn my ass (not in the good way).
Posted by: tfg at December 14, 2005 06:16 PM
Eric: That pisses me off too! In warmer weather, I ride my bike as often as possible but as you pointed out, there is absolutely nowhere to lock the damn thing up. Oh, wait, let me amend that. I know of one bike rack at the can company in canton.
TFG: WTF? Does the company that owns your rental own a nearby garage as well?
Posted by: eBill at December 15, 2005 10:15 AM



