Since I started hanging out with bloggers, I have had to answer the question, "So, do you have a blog?" in the negative. Now I can proudly say, "Yes, yes! I do in fact have a blog. For I am a protestant! And, if the urge struck me, I could march down to the corner store and purchase a condom." - eBill (with thanks to Monty Python)

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November 29, 2005

A Glimpse Inside The Minds Of My Coworkers

Here is the latest link flying around work via email. Make sure you check out the customer reviews, some are quite funny.

Posted by eBill at 09:07 AM   Comments (3)   TrackBack

November 28, 2005

Maryland Science Center (part II)

Some of you breeders need to stop taking yourselves so goddamned seriously. It's annoying. Really annoying. Almost as annoying as that snot-nose, punk-ass, poorly educated, camouflage clad, loud, obese, abrasive, smelly, ugly little hell-spawned clone of yourself ... but not quite.

Posted by eBill at 02:46 PM   Comments (1)   TrackBack

Maryland Science Center

I have been wanting to go to the Maryland Science Center for some time now. This past Saturday, Pea agreed to chaperone Fool and myself and be our tour guide. I had a blast following Pea around, taking photos, and participating in some of the interactive installations. Pea is startlingly intelligent and loves her big sis like there is no tomorrow. I found myself wishing I had a sibling Pea's age with whom I could have a second chance to be as good an older sibling as Fool.

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November 27, 2005

It Tastes Like Burning

We had a wonderful dinner at Ze Mean Bean Cafe this past Friday evening. Fool ordered the always outstanding pierogi dinner. I ordered the marlin topped with a mango salsa which was also excellent.

We ordered a 2003 Ninth Island Pinot Noir (Australia) but they were out of that vintage so we accepted the 2004 vintage instead which, by the way, was very yummy. To go with the wine, we ordered a cheese board and selected three different cheeses including Stilton.

After a single taste, Fool joined the ranks of Stilton non-fans. There were the normal comments that it tasted like a smelly foot which are always funny but she followed up later with the funniest cheese comment I have ever heard. When I asked exactly what it is was that she didn't like about Stilton, she answered simply, "Cheese is not supposed to burn your tongue."

Case in point. :)

- E

p.s. Afterwards, we had a nightcap at Ale Mary's which is a friendly little joint with a pleasing aesthetic. Stop by if you get a chance.

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November 26, 2005

Treegina

Posted by eBill at 07:53 AM   Comments (2)   TrackBack

November 19, 2005

Roadside Entrepreneurialism

I was reading this post by ACW when it dawned on me. The most perfect business idea ever! Are you familiar with those roadside rose peddlers? The ones pulled over on the shoulder of a busy road with a cardboard sign propped against their car advertising six roses for six bucks. Ya with me? Okay. What if ... stay with me now ... what if those folks also sold ... beer?

Posted by eBill at 09:30 AM   Comments (3)   TrackBack

November 17, 2005

A Quick Thanks

Yesterday's happy hour was a blast! I drank more beer than I had planned on drinking and now the entire Baltimore blogging community is aware of the fact that I have a penchant for System Of A Down. It was nice to talk with him and him whom I haven't had a chance to talk much with previously. It was a special pleasure to meet Molly, who is very nice and runs an awesome establishment.

Thanks to all for a fun time!

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Sir, Do You Know How Slow You Were Blogging?

I received a warning from the blog police this morning citing me for blogging dangerously below the posted minimum posts.

I have been bad and I need to be spanked.

Posted by eBill at 03:18 PM   Comments (3)   TrackBack

November 08, 2005

Lunchtime Fun

What is the funnest thing one can do on their luch hour, you ask? That's easy; changing a flat tire in a parking lot. If you want to really push the fun factor over the top make sure your boss is along for the ride as well as another coworker (or two if you like). Oh, and this is an ideal time to recommend hot, to-go meals to your passengers as those dangerously hot meals will have ample time to thoroughly cool. Be sure to get nice and dirty in the process of changing the tire, otherwise you're not having fun.

Good times.

As a side note: Remember those soap dispensers I was talkin' 'bout yesterday? Well, apparently they can only ejaculate twice before they get all tuckered out and you have to move on to the next one. Yeah, yeah, I know ... that's twice as much as the typical male, but it is an annoying characteristic in a soap dispenser none the less.

Posted by eBill at 02:24 PM   Comments (1)   TrackBack

November 07, 2005

What Where They Thinking?

The restrooms at my place of employment recently received upgrades to the hand-soap dispensers. We are now fully auotmatic when it comes to hand-soap dispensation 'round these here parts. One merely places a hand beneath the modern looking spigot and *Splorp* a dollop of liquid hand-soap is conveniently disharged into one's palm.

What I would like to know is: What the hell were they thinking when the decision was made to fill these dispenesers with pearly-white, liquid soap? To quote a coworker, "Every time I go to the bathroom ... I feel like a hooker."

Posted by eBill at 01:36 PM   Comments (4)   TrackBack

November 04, 2005

What The?!?!


Okay, goddammit, what the hell happened to my poor car last night? I suspect this person might have been involved somehow. Any witnesses?

Posted by eBill at 10:03 AM   Comments (5)   TrackBack

November 02, 2005

Whaddya Expect? It's Highlandtown ... Hon.

I awoke last night thinking I heard a noise. I was trying to make sense of the display on my alarm clock which seemed to be trying to convey the ridiculous message that is was three O'clock in the morning when I heard the noise again. It was my doorbell. At three O'clock in the morning! As I fumbled around looking for an article of clothing with which to cover myself, I attempted to mentally produce a list of potential late-night visitors. All things considered, this should have been an easy task. However, in my severely groggy state, I was operating at a mental capacity just slighly above that of a republican and therefore lucky that I figured out how to don a pair of boxer shorts.

I plodded down the stairs to the kitchen, staggered to the door, and looked through the glass to find nothing but empty sidewalk. "Shit," I thought, "they must have given up and gone home. I hope it wasn't an emergency of some sort."

*Ding dong*

"What the fuck?!?! Oh, yeah ... there's another door."

I stumble toward the front door and sure enough there is a silhouette backlit by the corner street light peering through the door glass. As I approach the door, I realize there is a second silhouette. By this time, the mind fog was beginning to burn off and it occurred to me that, in general, only two types of silhouettes appear outside ones door at three in the morning: those of criminals and those of cops. While not a hard and fast rule, the latter tend to use the doorbell more often than the former so I thought the cops were outside my door. Ah, but this is Baltimore and it seems there is at least one other group of folks that might show up outside one's door at three in the morning: Teenage girls.

Standing ouside my door peering through the glass were two girls of about fourteen, give or take a year. More likely take a year. "Why would two teenage girls be peering through my window at three in the morning," I thought, "Peering through my window...Holy shit! I'm not wearing anything but boxers and there are two very underage girls looking at me through the window. Not good!" I quickly moved close enough to the door to block their view below my torso and loud enough to be heard through the door glass said, "What?!"

"Is Paul here," one inquired.

"No."

"Does Paul live here?"

"No."

"Does Paul live over there," she inquired further while pointing at the row house directly accross the street from me.

"Don't know."

And that was it. As if it were three in the afternoon, these two dumbass, teenage girls rang my doorbell repeatedly at three in the morning looking for some dickhead friend of theirs named Paul. What did they do next? They walked right over to the house they pointed at earlier and began ringing the doorbell.

Posted by eBill at 09:37 AM   Comments (5)   TrackBack